Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 16 of Short Funny Quotes.

Why fight to live when we live to die???

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Why is is called a ‘building’ when it’s already been built ?

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Why is the slowest traffic of the day called ‘rush hour’?

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Why is there no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger?

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wifes are like dictionary’.for one word it has many meanings’

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Wise people think all they say,Fools say all they think

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Without ME its just Aweso

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Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.

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yeah thats right, i went there

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Yesterday I ran into my ex.Then i pulled into reverse and ran over him again.

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you are just jealous because i act retarded and people still luv me. LoL

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You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

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You cry, I cry, ‘.you laugh, I laugh’you jump off a cliff i laugh even harder!!

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You need to be good at atleast one of the two..Either convince the other person’else’.

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You should never care what others think, they don’t do it very often.

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You study to rememberIf you remember too much you forgetIf you forget you don’t know what you studiedIf you forgot what you studied you fail your test.SO WHY STUDY?xD

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You: Does everything I say have to mean something?Me: Apparently not’.babble on

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YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p

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Your future depend on your what you dream, so go to sleep.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 15 of Short Funny Quotes.

When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa’peacfully’sleeping’not screaming, like the passengers in his car’

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when i speak with my eyes, i tell more than just one story.

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When life gives you a lemon’ squeeze it in a water pistol and shoot someone between the eyes!

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when life gives you lemons,make grape juice,then sit back,and let the wold wonder how you did it.

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When Life Gives You Lemons’.. Throw Them Back And Demand Chocolate.

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when life gives you lemons’throw them over your shoulder and look for an orange

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When nothing goes right go left!!

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When nothing goes right, Go left.

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When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.

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When you are always ahead of others, you are always walking alone.

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When you get old and your kids askwhere all the money went, showthem the vacation videos.

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Whenever I find the key to success , someone changes the lock’

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Who needs rhetorical questions?

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Who says common sense is common ‘ watching people push the door when it clearly says pull.

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why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?

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Why do people say life is short? Live the longest thing you could ever do’

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Why do stores that are open 24/7 have locks on their doors?

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Why do they put pizza in a square box?

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Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?

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Why don’t you ever see Cupid with a girlfriend?

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 14 of Short Funny Quotes.

The worst part of censorship is **********

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There is no I in fail’. WAIT!’.

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They say money talks’well I’m the ventriloquist.

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THINK its not illegal yet

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This is my life and I don’t let others ruin it !!’.. I wanna do it myself

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Thou Shalt Not Stab Giraffe In Neck With Spoon

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to learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?

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True skill comes without effort.

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TV has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable

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vegetarians are killing the rainforest.

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Video games are the only realities where we are anything but absolutely ordinary.

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video games ruined my life. at least i have 2 left

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Well if life does not give you water and sugar too, your lemonade is going to suck!

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What do u do when the only one who can make u stop crying is the one who made you cry?

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what do you do with some cheese that’s one year old?”’you sing it happy birthday!!!

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what does it mean when you live on a busy street and your mom tells you to play on the road?

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what is stupid,crapppy, and a waste of paper?homework!

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What is to be will be, BUT’. What is not to be Could happen

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When cheese gets it’s picture taken what does it say?

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When God made me, he was showing off!!

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 13 of Short Funny Quotes.

So many men and yet so few brains.

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So she smashed her rearview mirror,cause from now on shes never looking back

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Some Are Called Brave Because They Afraid to Run’..

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Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs

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Some people are wise, some are otherwise.

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Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say ‘Are you gonna drink that?’

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Spilleng iz mi bezt zubjekt

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Steal money from pessimists. They’ll never expect it back!

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Strength can only give you power, but hope can give you success.

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Superman really isn’t that impressive, anyone can stop a speeding bullet at least once.

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Support bacteria ‘ they’re the only culture some people have.

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Teacher: Imagine you’re in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do?

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Tell me what you need, I will tell you how to get along without it.

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Tell your girlfriend, i said thanks’!

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The future just ain’t what it used to be.

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The hardest part about business is minding your own.

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THE IMPOSSIBLE’..’ what nobody can do until some body does””’

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The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

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The truth hurts”.. thats why i lie =P

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The voices in my head aren’t real’my dog told me so.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 12 of Short Funny Quotes.

Phone ringing; If that’s for me don’t answer it.

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POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN’Police have nothing to go on

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practice makes perect but then nobody is perfect so wats the point of practicing?

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QUICK!! What’s the number for 911!!!

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rlaely it deson’t mttaer waht i wirte you’ll sitll uanrtednsnd it

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Rule #1 I’m always rightRule #2 If i’m wrong please look at rule #1

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save paper don’t do home work

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save the planet its the only one with beer

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save water and shower together

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School is a jail, the cells are the classes, teachers are the security guard and WE ARE THE PRISONERS!

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Selfishness: Lack of consideration for the selfishness of others.

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Sex without love is like food without taste

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Sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll,Speed, weed && birth control,Life’s a b***h and then we die,So f**k the world and lets get high =] x

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Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver, blue, purple, orange and all those other colors now.

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sleep till you’re hungry, eat till you’re sleepy

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Smile and the whole world will smile with you!

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Smile and the world smiles with you.Laugh and they’ll think your on drugs.

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Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh, and they’ll think you’re on drugs!

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Smile’.It confuses peple..!!

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so i ran into my ex the other day’then i put it in reverse and hit him again

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 11 of Short Funny Quotes.

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

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Never give the devil a ride, he will always want to drive.

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Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

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Never steal.The government hates competition

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nine out of ten people like chocolate,the tenth person always lies hehehe

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no’one is perfect,well then im no’one

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Normal people use spoons. But, I am not normal. Although, I do find it hard to eat soup with my hands, a fork, or a butterknife.

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notice that you are noticing nothing worth noticing?

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Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

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Ok so i applied for a job at a mental hospital and they said i needed 24 hrs experience with a retard..so ‘uhh’um do u wanna hang out?

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old age dosen’t make you forget.Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember

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omg I’ve just been drinking wet cement

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Once i was bright then i realized i was radioactive

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only a mental retard knows ur being sarcastic when everyone else thinks ur serious

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Pandas are the least racist..they’re black, white, and Asian

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Patience is a waste of time.

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People always tell you to never say never so just say i cant.

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People have told me to never say never ‘ they broke their own rule!

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people want what they cant have and when they get it they dont want it anymore. practice makes perfect, but if no ones perfect, why practice?

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Pessimism is great, You are either always right or pleasently suprised.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 10 of Short Funny Quotes.

Life hands you lemons’great now who the hell is gonna hand me a knife to cut them!!!

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Life is a game with a small fault’there is no ‘restart button’ in it.

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Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

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life is not worth living if u do not have chocolate

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Life is Short ‘ Talk Fast!

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life moves on just takes awhile wen ur not with some one!!!

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Life¬ís Tough . . . Get a Helmet!’

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losers are those who have fun winners are those who try hard

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Love is just like hate but someone gets candy.

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Love is like getting sick,Because everyone goes through it.

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Many people bring joy in my household, some by coming, others by going’

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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped

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Miss are you good in algebra?Do you mind substituting my ‘x’???

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My future is so bright ”’. i need shades

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My life is hard so stop making it harder and get out of my life

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My life is one of thoseYOU HAD TO BE THEREjokes.

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My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then its gone’:(

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my mom says pigs don’t eat biscuits’ so i better take that one out of your hand’

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My therapist says that I can’t see you anymore because you make me crazy.

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Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 9 of Short Funny Quotes.

Is it that we have to be smart enough to get educated or that we must get educated to become smarter’..

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Is the glass half empty or half full? Neither, it’s just the wrong size!

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it ain’t a lonely world IF U AIN’T A LONER’

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It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.

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It’s better to cheat, than to repeat’.

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its better to give thaan to recieved, but the truth is its better to recieve and recieve and recieve’heheheh

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It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

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I’ve been told I’m going straight to hell’no I’m not’I’m taking the stairs not the elevator.

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I’ve got problem for your solution’

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I’ve lost many things’. of all those, my mind is at the bottom of my ‘to find’ list’

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jealousy is a disease,,,,get well soon!

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jesus is coming’ look busy

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Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

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Just because I have ADHD does not mean I can’t pay attent”

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Knock knock how about ding dong the joke is getting old.

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Knock Knock’ Umm You don’t have to knock, they are things called doorbells these days..

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L.O.L has gone from meaning laugh out loud to i have nothing else to say.

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Laugh Until You CryCry Until You Laugh

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Let your parents choose your school”. only if they study for you !

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Life can be worth living, but those who haven’t lived long are lucky as anything!!

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 8 of Short Funny Quotes.

If you can’t change a girl, change the girl.

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If you cry, I cry’You laugh, I laugh’You jump of a cliff, I’ll really miss you’re emails.

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if you expect the unexpcted, then isn’t the unexpected the expected?!

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if you fail to prepare,then prepare to fail

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If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you dont have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

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If you weren’t who you are ‘. I’d like you!

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If your life isn’t rich and creamy, you bought the wrong box of chocolates!!

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I’m afraid of my mailman””..he knows where I live!!

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I’m an outstanding student, teacher often asks me to stand out of the class.

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I’m fat. But you’re ugly. At least I can diet.

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I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

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I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.

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I’m not evil, I’m god with a twist.

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I’m not immature’i just know how to have fun.

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I’m not insecure’ I just don’t care.

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I’m on a seafood diet.. I see food and then i eat it.

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Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.

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Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out ‘ but she has trouble being heard through all the fat.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 7 of Short Funny Quotes.

I wish my book of life was written in pencil ‘ There are a few pages I would like to erase.

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I would agree with you if you were right

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If a rose represents love, then why does it always die?

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If a turtle loses his shell is he NAKED or HOMELESS ??

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if all my friends decided to jump off a bridge”.i wuldnt’..i wuld be at the bottom waiting to catch them.

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If Barbie was so popular, Why do people buy her friends ?

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If common sense is so common why is there so many people with out it??

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If i followed you home, would you keep me?

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If I’m not back in 5 minutes’. wait longer..

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If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.

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If life throws lemons at you, throw back a hand grenade.

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if love is blind then how did it find us???

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If others can do it’

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if our women with babies use little spoons and forks to feed them. what do chinese people use? tooth picks?

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If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

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If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales???

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If the batteries in our T.V remote are dead ‘ Why do we keep pushing the button until our fingers hurt ?

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if u think no one notices you and ur all alone, then try not paying the bills!!! hahaha

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If u wanna 2 b 2nd follow me

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if wiseness was payable there would be no rich or poor. look at george bush or paris hilton for example.