Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 9 of Funny Quotes.

How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

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How dare we speak of the laws of chance? Is not chance the antithesis of all law?

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How fast do hotcakes sell?

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How has retirement affected my golf game A lot more people beat me now.- Dwight D. Eisenhower

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How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?

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How many people here have telekinetic powers Raise my hand.- Emo Philips

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How many people live on the reputation of the reputation they might have made?

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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.

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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

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I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

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I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

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I am Happy Devesh Aaron Copland # His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

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I am not a glutton. I am an explorer of food.- Erma Bombeck

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I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries.

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I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy.

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I bought a dog the other day…I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him…’Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!’ He went insane.

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I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.

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I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.

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