Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 40 of Funny Quotes.

Won’t they all stop eventually?

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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

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Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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You can have my gun when you pry it from my paranoid, mentally disturbed, physically abusive, cold, dead hand.- Bumper sticker

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You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

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You know how most packages say ‘Open here’. What is the protocol if the package says, ‘Open somewhere else’?

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You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

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You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas – George Carlin

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You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.- John Mendoza

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You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

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You son, could start a riot in a graveyard.

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You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.- George Washington

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You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’.- Homer J Simpson

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You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

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You watch the pitlane while I stop the start watch’- Murray Walker

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You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

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You’re only as good as your last haircut.

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You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.- Dilbert

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You’re so much more endearing with the sound turned off.- Brandon Boyd

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