Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 34 of Funny Quotes.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it – Yogi Berra If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!

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When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer.- Xeni Jardin

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When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

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When you put ‘THE’ and ‘IRS’ together, it forms ‘THEIRS’. Coincidence? I think not?

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When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be taken.- Dorothy Parker

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When your IQ rises to 28, sell.- Irwin Corey

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When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

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When you’re sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

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When you’ve got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.

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Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

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Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I’m thirsty, not dirty.- Joe E. Lewis

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Where are Preparations A through G?

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Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end.- Jerry Seinfeld

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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?

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Who invented accents?

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Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my hard disk?

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Why are boxing rings square?

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Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?

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Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

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Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?

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