Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 33 of Funny Quotes.

What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?

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What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

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What’s the opposite of opposite?

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What”s the use of happiness? It can”t buy you money.

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When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.- Edward Abbey

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When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.- George Bernard Shaw

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When all else fails, stop using ‘all else’.- Anonymous

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When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butt?

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When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.- Mae West

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Anonymous quotes

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When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

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When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

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When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

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When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

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When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.- Gracie Allen

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When I was young I used to think that money was the most important thing in life. Now that I am old, I know it is.

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When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I’m labeled senile.

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When people lose weight, where does it go?

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When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.

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When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?

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