Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 41 of Funny Quotes.

You’ve got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier.- Anonymous

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Zero-zero is a big score.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Birthday Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Birthday Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Birthday Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Birthday Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Birthday Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Birthday Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 3 of Funny Birthday Quotes.

You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!.

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You think your special JUST because its your birthday today’.

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You’re an old bag.

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You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar”.. Yung No Mo

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Golf Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Golf Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Golf Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Golf Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Golf Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Golf Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 3 of Funny Golf Quotes.

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

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you no your a good golfer when you get first place in a golf tournament and you have a cast on your foot! (true story when i was 11)

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You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Thoughts Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Thoughts Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Thoughts Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 20 of Funny Thoughts Quotes.

Wouldn’t be more fun to eat a big one?

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Wouldn’t it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

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wouldn’t that make them slower when chasing someone?

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You know the expression, ‘Don’t quit your day job?

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You’d get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 40 of Funny Quotes.

Won’t they all stop eventually?

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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

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Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

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You can have my gun when you pry it from my paranoid, mentally disturbed, physically abusive, cold, dead hand.- Bumper sticker

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You cannot grow a beard in a moment of passion.

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You know how most packages say ‘Open here’. What is the protocol if the package says, ‘Open somewhere else’?

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You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

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You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas – George Carlin

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You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.- John Mendoza

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You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

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You son, could start a riot in a graveyard.

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You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.- George Washington

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You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’.- Homer J Simpson

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You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

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You watch the pitlane while I stop the start watch’- Murray Walker

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You’ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

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You’re only as good as your last haircut.

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You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.- Dilbert

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You’re so much more endearing with the sound turned off.- Brandon Boyd

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 39 of Funny Quotes.

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a ‘near miss’?

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Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?

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Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

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Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?

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Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

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Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?

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Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?

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Why is the alphabet in that order?

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Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

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Why is the word ‘abbreviate’ so long?

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Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

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Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

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Why isn’t ‘palindrome’ spelled the same way backwards?

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Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

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Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

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Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

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Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.

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Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. Roseanne quotes

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Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. Billy Crystal quotes

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Thoughts Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Thoughts Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Thoughts Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 19 of Funny Thoughts Quotes.

Why is snow white and ice clear?

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Why is that when fish die in water, they float to the top, but when humans die in water, they sink to the bottom?

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Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?

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Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

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Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?

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Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?

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Why is there an L in NOEL?

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Why is there not a Channel 1 on TV?

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Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

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Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

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Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

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Why isn

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Thoughts Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Thoughts Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Thoughts Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Thoughts Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 18 of Funny Thoughts Quotes.

Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?

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Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?

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Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

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Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

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Why is it illegal to put money in other people’s parking meters?

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Why is it that if something says, ‘do not eat’ on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

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Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Short Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Short Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Short Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Short Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Short Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Short Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 16 of Short Funny Quotes.

Why fight to live when we live to die???

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Why is is called a ‘building’ when it’s already been built ?

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Why is the slowest traffic of the day called ‘rush hour’?

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Why is there no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger?

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wifes are like dictionary’.for one word it has many meanings’

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Wise people think all they say,Fools say all they think

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Without ME its just Aweso

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Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.

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yeah thats right, i went there

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Yesterday I ran into my ex.Then i pulled into reverse and ran over him again.

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you are just jealous because i act retarded and people still luv me. LoL

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You are like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

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You cry, I cry, ‘.you laugh, I laugh’you jump off a cliff i laugh even harder!!

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You need to be good at atleast one of the two..Either convince the other person’else’.

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You should never care what others think, they don’t do it very often.

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You study to rememberIf you remember too much you forgetIf you forget you don’t know what you studiedIf you forgot what you studied you fail your test.SO WHY STUDY?xD

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You: Does everything I say have to mean something?Me: Apparently not’.babble on

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YoungBlood: Because, perhaps there are few dying to live. :p

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Your future depend on your what you dream, so go to sleep.

Jun 162013
 

Comprehensive collection of Funny Quotes. The compilation includes some good quality text submitted by users. Browse through our nice repository of Funny Quotes with latest and new quotes being added quite often. You will find unique quotes and sayings which you can rate and review. Explore best and rare collection of Funny Quotes here, select any text from the wide range and share or send using mobile. Apart from general Funny Quotes, the collection also includes some popular Funny Quotes. You can help us to enrich this collection of Funny Quotes by sending and submitting more messages from your collection to us and by providing nice ideas. This is Part – 38 of Funny Quotes.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

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Why is a women’s prison called a penal colony?

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Why is an alarm clock going ‘off’ when it actually turns on?

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Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet.?

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Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?

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Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

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Why is it call ‘after dark’ when it really is ‘after light’?

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Why is it called a ‘building’ when it is already built?

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Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

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Why is it called a ‘drive through’ if you have to stop?

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Why is it called a TV ‘set’ when you only get one?

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Why is it called ‘after dark’, when it is really after light?

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Why is it called eggplant, when there’s no egg in it?

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Why is it called pineapple, when’s there neither pine nor apple in it?

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Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

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Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

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Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?

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Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

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Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Why is it when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open it’s not adoor?

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Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?